Gaslighting seems to be the buzzword of the recent years. But how much do we really know about the term? Today, we’ll deep dive into this topic to find out what it is, its warning signs, and everything else you need to know.
What exactly is gaslighting?
In abusive relationships, gaslighting is a kind of emotional abuse. It’s the process of persuading someone to examine their own ideas, recollections, and the events going on around them. Gaslighting may push a victim to the point of questioning their own sanity.
The word “gaslighting” came from the play “Gaslight,” which was adapted into a film. In the film, Charles Boyer plays a cunning husband who manipulates and torments his wife, portrayed by Ingrid Bergman, into believing she is going insane.
Gaslighting is a kind of manipulation, whether deliberate or not. Gaslighting may occur in a variety of situations, including interactions with bosses, friends, and parents. However, one of the most damaging kinds of gaslighting is when it occurs in a couple’s relationship.
Warning signs that you are being gaslighted
If you are unsure whether you are in such a situation, here are some warning signs you should look out for:
1. You are constantly being lied to
Gaslighters are compulsive liars who lie on a regular basis. Even when you call them out or offer proof of their deceit, they will brazenly lie to your face and refuse to back down or modify their statements. Their harmful behavior is founded on lying. They may be quite persuasive even when you know they are lying. In the end, you begin to doubt yourself.
2. You are often discredited
Gaslighters propagate stories and talk about you among their friends and acquaintances. They may act concerned about you while quietly informing others that you are emotionally unstable or insane. Unfortunately, this approach may be quite powerful, and many people will sympathize with the abuser or bully without fully understanding the situation.
Furthermore, the gaslighter may deceive you by claiming that others believe you are insane. These individuals may never say anything negative about you, but the gaslighter will do all in his power to make you feel they do.
3. You are often confused in conversations
Gaslighters love to twist and reframe conversations. This is a common strategy used by gaslighters when you’re talking about something that happened in the past. As a result, victims often feel confused during conversations.
If your spouse, for example, slammed you against the wall and you subsequently discuss it, they may distort the tale to their advantage. They may claim you stumbled and they attempted to support you, causing you to collide with the wall.
You may begin to mistrust your recollection of what happened if stories and recollections are continually repeated in the gaslighter’s favor. The objective is for you to be perplexed or second-guess yourself.
Recognize that you are a victim in your relationship is the first step in seeking help. Consultation with a psychiatrist, psychologist, or therapist is the next step. They can assist you in sorting through your worries and concerns and understanding the facts of what you’ve gone through. You’ll learn how to deal with uncertainties and worry, as well as build coping mechanisms.